Mags, I’m finally on my way. Get your Peyton Manning jersey out and all your favorite books, and be prepared to be squeezed constantly until January 5.

I left home a long long time ago
In a tin can for the road
With a suitcase and some songs
Chasing miles through the night time
Making tracks with no time for looking back
To the place where I belong

How these days grow long
But I’m on my way back home
It’s been hard to be away
How I miss you and I just want to kiss you
And I’m gonna love you till my dying day
How these days grow long

When your sad you know I wish I could be there
To make your sorrows disappear
And set your troubles free
It’s not fair for me to be this far from you
But I promise to stay true, wherever I might be

Time keeps burning
The wheels keep on turning
Sometimes I feel I’m wasting my days
How I miss you and I just want to kiss you
And I’m gonna love you till my dying day
How these days grow long
Time keeps burning on
How these days grow long

Now I’m lost in a sea of sunken dreams
While the sound of drunken screams echos in the night
But I know all of this will come to pass
And I’ll be with you at last forever by your side

How these days grow long
But I’m on my way back home
It’s been hard to be away
How I miss you and I just want to kiss you
And I’m gonna love you till my dying day

[the Great and Glorious Month of the Lord edition]

1. Rocket Man — Sir Elton John

And I think it’s gonna be a long long time
Till touch down brings me round again to find
I’m not the man they think I am at home

2. The Far Country — Andrew Peterson

Father Abraham
Do you remember when
You were called to a land
And you didn’t know the way

3. Party Doll — Mary Chapin-Carpenter

Times change but the fascination stays
Love wins but the passion just fades
I’ll drink to those dancin’ days
I’ll drink to your crazy ways
Through a whiskey haze
Face the music, face the truth
Chase that fleet sweet bird of youth
Grow up sweetly, grow up strong
Hear the heartbeat in my song

4. Mary Jane — Alanis Morissette

I hear you’re counting sheep again Mary Jane
What’s the point of trying to dream anymore
I hear you’re losing weight again Mary Jane
Do you ever wonder who you’re losing it for

1. Tu Compania — Keith Urban

Your feet propped up on that kitchen chair
Morning papers scattered all around you
Coffee brewing on that cast iron stove

2. Andy, You’re a Star — The Killers

In a car with a girl, promise me she’s not your world
Cause Andy, you’re a star
In nobody’s eyes but mine

3. Please Please Please — Fiona Apple

Please please please
No apologies
At best they buy you time
Until you next step out of line
Please please please
No more remedies
My method is uncertain
It’s a mess but it’s working
And maybe if you tried it out
You won’t like it when you’re crying out
“Give us something familiar
Something similar
To what we know already
That will keep us steady”
Steady, steady
Steady going nowhere

4. Collide — Howie Day

I’m quiet you know
You make a first impression
I’ve found I’m scared to know
I’m always on your mind

5. Indiana, Our Indiana — IU Pep Band

Indiana, Our Indiana,

Indiana, we’re all for you

We will fight for the cream and crimson,

For the glory of old IU

Never daunted, we cannot falter

In the battle, we’re tried and true

Indiana, Our Indiana,

Indiana, we’re all for you

1. Don’t Let Me Get Me — P!nk

I can’t take directions
And my socks are never clean

2. Home — Tim McGraw

And somewhere in an honest laugh
It’ll finally hit me that I’m home

3. What It Means To Me — Griffin House

Fast train, I’m on a fast train
I may never slow down
Somewhere, I’m headed somewhere
To the road I’ll ever be bound

4. The Spirit vs. The Kick Drum — Derek Webb [full disclosure]

I don’t want the Spirit, I want the kick drum
I don’t want the Spirit, I want the kick drum
I know how it works, oh I’m not dumb
I don’t want the Spirit, I want the kick drum

Like sex without love
Like peace without the dove
Like a crime scene without the blood

I don’t want the Spirit, you know I want the kick drum

I don’t want the Son, I want a jury of peers
I don’t want the Son, I want a jury of peers
Mascara’s gonna run when you see my tears
I don’t want the Son, I want a jury of peers

Like lies without the truth
Like wine without the fruit
Like a skydive without the chute

I don’t want the Son, you know I want a jury of peers
I don’t want the Spirit, you know I want the kick drum

I don’t want the Father, want a vending machine
I don’t want the Father, want a vending machine
I know what I want if you know what I mean
I don’t want the Father, want a vending machine

Like heaven without gates
Like hell without flames
Like life without pain

I don’t want the Father, you know I want a vending machine
I don’t want the Son, you know I want a jury of peers
I don’t want the Spirit, you know I want the kick drum

5. Not the Doctor — Alanis Morisette

I don’t want to be the glue that holds your pieces together
I don’t want to be your idol
See this pedestal is high and I’m afraid of heights
I don’t want to be lived through
A vicarious occasion
Please open the window

Visiting hours are 9 to 5 and if I show up at half past six
Well, I already know that you’d find some way to sneak me in
And mind the empty bottle with the holes along the bottom
You see it’s too much to ask for and I’m not the doctor

…until I get to participate in this sweet action. This, if anywhere, is home. Mom, keep my jersey ready…

I don’t love living in the city. Really, I don’t. And, I actually called Jerusalem a “hole” the other day. I fully mean it and do not take it back. It’s dirty, it’s loud, and the religious overtones cause most folks to be on edge all the time. The friendly Israelis seem to reside outside this city. It isn’t an easy place to live, and the hardness of daily life and the constant fight to not be plowed over verbally, religiously and physically has definitely hardened me a bit. For the most part, I dread having to interact with anyone outside of school, including, and sometimes especially, the check out ladies at the grocery store. Things that ought to be simple never are, and the blame for the complication usually winds up being erroneously placed on me. I never knew just how much I valued logic, efficiency and all sensible things until I lived here.

Today I am sitting outside at a cafe, reading, drinking coffee and preparing to eat an amazing cinnamon roll. Loud conversations in Hebrew (because Israelis only have one volume), horns honking and inappropriately loud motor bikes create a less than desirable ambiance. Oddly enough, this is the kind of place I like most in the city: the corner of a cafe, watching from afar, listening to the movement happening around me and gladly letting it all take place without having to participate.

I do think I need to rent a car and get out of dodge soon, for my own sanity. It’s better than long hours spent in my room, the place I’ve created where the outside can’t get in (sans the street noise, my downstairs neighbor yelling vehemently at his son, or his son playing Abba’s “Honey Honey” on repeat). It was suggested to me that I go to Caesarea, sit on the beach and think about Rome, the heir of Greek logic and organization. It’s also a place to breathe, look out onto the open sea and remember how incredibly privileged I am to live in this hole of city for this short time, hard as it may be and hard as I may have become.

A few years ago, I received an invitation to submit an essay for possible inclusion in a book about growing up Evangelical and female. The invitation was passed onto me by my good friend, Heather, a fellow TU grad and improv comedy cohort. Unfortunately, the opportunity came at a time of transition for me and I was unable to put something together. If it would have happened at a more favorable time, I certainly would have done it. Heather, however, is one of the featured essayist. I haven’t read it, so I don’t know what she has written, but it is probably thought-provokingly hilarious. The collection of essays has recently been published and I am anxiously awaiting the chance to read it. Here is a recent review from iMonk.

1. You Learn — Alanis Morisette

Swallow it down (what a jagged little pill)
It feels so good (swimming in your stomach)
Wait until the dust settles
You live, you learn

2. Tragedy — Brandi Carlile

Progress and changing
Growing and giving up
Somehow, we’re never quite prepared

3. So Much Love — The Rocket Summer (thanks @morganlevy)

You look like the songs that I’ve heard my whole life coming true

4. Where the Road Meets the Sun — Matthew Perryman Jones and Katie Herzig

Angel wings spread over water worn wishes
Guarding the dreams and the things left unsaid
Here we are wandering, aimlessly roaming
Lovers who linger and never forget
And when it’s done we will walk where the road meets the sun

5. Waiting on the World to Change — John Mayer

When you trust your television
What you get is what you got
‘Cause when they own the information
They can bend it all they want

1. Jealous of the Moon — Nickel Creek

I hate to see a friend of mine
Laughing out loud when she’s crying inside
But you’ve got your pride
You’re staring at the stars
Jealous of the moon
You wish you could fly

2. Rise and Shine — Andrew Peterson

He said rise, rise and shine
The sun is coming in
And the morning light is shining in your eyes
Rise, rise and shine
The day is coming on
And, you know, the night is gone
So rise

3. Overcome — Live

Even now the world is bleedin’ but feelin’ just fine
All numb in our castle where we’re always free to choose
Never free enough to find
I wish somethin’ would break cuz we’re runnin’ out of time

And I am overcome
I am overcome
Holy water in my lungs
I am overcome

4. Trouble — Over the Rhine

Novices have expectations
‘Cause they think they should
Experts have their revelations
Like they knew they would
What may seem complicated
Is overstated downright misunderstood
Love will not be outdated
Maybe placated but it’s got to be good

We’re so precarious with semantics
I think this could be trouble
I think it’s trouble honey
I think it’s good
If you came to make trouble
Make me a double honey
I think it’s good

5. Stations — Denison Witmer

All I want is to be honest
Like the season
As talk about that slows
But there’s compassion that holds no words
It holds no words
I feel it as you go

Can you promise me
You still love, what you loved
When you left
Will you promise me
You still have, what you had
When you left

1. Already Gone — Sugarland

But his dark eyes dared me with danger
And sparks fly like flame to a paper

2. Perfect Time of Day — Howie Day

You look for what you want to say
And you look for the perfect time of day

3. Nothin’ Better to Do — LeAnn Rimes

Hung my cotton dress on rusted wire
Up there on Pilahatchee Bridge
Just a crazy roughneck’s daughter
Jumped head-first into the water
Baptized away my sins

4. The Blower’s Daughter — Damien Rice

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her skies